Fear… Denial…

                                        THANK YOU and WELCOME!

It has taken me years to finally set this blog up… No, it has taken me years to get over my fears and finally do this. Yes, years.

Now that I have done that (I think) , I will like to discuss why people live in denial. A couple of reasons or answers springs to mind. At least, the reason I know why I live in denial.

First, I deny accepting some things for fear (aha) of not being strong enough to face the truth when it stares me squarely in the face… for fear that what I believed in, or trusted or loved is not what I thought it was. I fear I will be shattered. So I started living with this mantra – if I cannot see it, if I cannot hear it, it didn’t happen then  it doesn’t exist. Utterly cowardly, huh? I know. At least, I know that much truth but I cannot embrace the real truth that I know is tucked away somewhere deep in my heart.

I know things happen to people and we all have ways of dealing with them. Different scenarios makes us, as human, to react differently to things and situations.

First is the case of a woman who definitely knows that her man is cheating on her or vise versa. Most women or men will not want to believe that there is the faintest possibility that their ‘precious’ has dogged out on them. Funny. They blindly ignore all the tell tale signs and pretend everything is fine while their souls are being eaten up. 

Second case is a family that ignores issues in their family. Like a philandering husband/wife, drug abusing child(ren), a sick or a thieving child. I don’t mean that they’re totally ignoring these issues oooh, no. What I mean is that they put so much effort in putting up a front to hide their private family affairs from the prying eyes of the public than in solving the issue itself. This leaves the ones with the problems feeling neglected, scarred or even worse, worse the they already are. I know a perfect example of a prominent couple who had twins (a boy and a girl) as their last children. The boy was a healthy bomboy but the girl child was not so fortunate. She had a bit of imbecility. This disturbed her prominent family because they were bothered about what their friends and associates will say about their imperfect child. Wonder what they did about this child? I’ll put you out of your miseries. They decided to lock up this girl in a room and only her elder ones, parents and nurse had access to this room. My heart still sinks to the bottom of my belly at the thought of what that poor baby girl might have gone through. That poor child lived in isolation for 7 years until she finally died of depression and neglect. Yes, and this is a true story. Sigh.

Third scenario is when someone settles for less than they deserve. Be it job, relationship or friendship related. We know in our hearts that we can do better than we are willing to settle for or have already settled for and when someone calls us out on it? Oooh weeee, all hell will let loose. We will make it look like every other person is against us when we know deep in our heart of hearts that we are being told nothing but the gospel truth.

Fourth scenario is for those pathological liars. Those who lie so much they start to believe and live those lies within themselves – in their hearts and in their heads. I am no psychologist but I know this is very dangerous. When someone starts to believe the lies they tell others for whatever reason unbeknownst to them and start to actually believe them? That is a problem. It has become a mental case oooo. A very serious one for that matter.

Fifth scenario is religion inclined. A typical and handy case study is the recent saga between Pastor Biodun of COZA and some of his female congregation accusing him of “sexual hypnosis”. I made up that term. Hehehe. Not to be biased but after such an accusation has been leveled against a prominent MOG like him, what is expected is for him to make or write a statement refuting what has been said of him or accepting then apologizing for what he has done. Instead, he made some gibberish comments in Church and that got his congregation erupting into clapping and shouting and sending BBM broadcast messages in defense of their Pastor. Some of these people might know there is an atom of truth somewhere in Ese Walters’ accusations as well as that of other accusers. But the fear of allowing anything to crush the faith and trust they have placed on their Pastor Biodun and in COZA (not in Jesus Christ ooooo) is not just acceptable. They decided to stand firmly behind him. 

Well, there you have it. These are the scenarios I have come up with about people who live in denial and I want to know how people who have found themselves in situations like this have been able to handle it. Did they come out unscathed? Or did they get drowned in afirst_stage_denial sea of lies, deceit and denial?

Until then,

Love, 

Ekwulo.

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